The Secret Diary of Scott Summers

The Secret Diary of Scott Summers
By Meredith

Scott Summers' Secret Diary. Girls and Magneto - KEEP OUT!!

11/2/99
As the leader of the X-Men, I feel lead to keep a diary - a record of my thoughts and feelings; a tome containing the details of my continuing struggle at the head of a renegade mutant band that will, hopefully, some day provide future generations with hope and beneficial clues on how to conduct themselves in our ongoing efforts to make peace with humanity. Each new entry will shine out like a beacon in the darkness!
Can't think of anything to write for today.
Write something tomorrow - bit tired now and Jean's yelling at me telepathically to turn the goddamn light off.

12/2/99
Had to tell Jubilee and Bobby off for running in the corridor today. When will the world learn??? Corridors are NOT for horseplay!

13/2/99
Gambit was cleaning out his wardrobe today. He does it every couple of weeks. Said that if I wanted any of his old stuff I was welcome to it.
A lot of it smells like catfish for some reason, but there's some really good quality knitwear in there that I can't conceive of why anyone would want to get rid of.

14/2/99
Found out I had another brother today.
Ho hum.

15/2/99
Wondered if I was telepathic today. Sat in the Professor's chair and thought 'Come to me, my X-Men'. Got excited when Gambit and Nightcrawler came in, but they just asked me if I could get out because they wanted to use the Professor's chair for something.

16/2/99
I wonder what they needed to use the professor's chair for?? They can both walk, as far as I know.
Brought it up with Gambit today. He just started smirking in an irritating way and saying cryptic things about how he'd be surprised if Kurt could walk after... something, he just kind of trailed off at the end.
I swear, if Gambit's up to his old tricks and is thinking of leading Magneto and his Acolytes here, I'm going to be really cross.
Jean and Betsy seem to be spending a lot of time together too.
It's so nice to see them getting along now.

17/2/99
Must hide diary from Jean. Keep forgetting she's a telepath and can read over my shoulder even when she's not in the room.

18/2/99

19/2/99

20/2/99

21/2/99
Found diary!
Also, defeated Apocalypse.

22/2/99
I'm not sure, but I think there's something going on between Gambit and Nightcrawler. Found them kissing in the broom cupboard today.
What could this mean?

23/2/99
Heard Wolverine yelling at Gambit today.
"The Professor's chair? But you said that was OUR SPOT!"
Stopped suddenly when I came into the room.
This is driving me crazy.
WHAT IS GOING ON??

24/2/99
Been reading up.
Found out about something called 'being gay'.
I don't get it. How could anyone be interested in another man when there are women like Jean around?? I love Jean.
Still, it sounds intriguing, and I really should try and empathise with the X-Men I lead. Maybe I should try it.

25/2/99
Tried testing newfound gayness on Wolverine today.
Recovering in infirmary.

26/2/99
Still in infirmary.
Wolverine visited me today. Brought me flowers and apologised for stabbing me. Which is more than Jean has done, let me tell you. "Eeer, Scott, I've still got the Phoenix inside me, Scott, I've got to have treatment, Scott - blah blah blah." What about *my* needs?
Still, Wolverine's flowers are nice.
While he was here he said he could think of worse things than being bedridden and winked.
Mystifying.

27/2/99
Still no visit from Jean.
Betsy hasn't dropped by either.
How strange.

28/2/99
Gambit and Bobby dropped by today.
Didn't bring me any presents and seemed anxious to leave.
WHERE IS JEAN???

01/3/99
Out of infirmary today.
I spent the day in deep thought.
Jean just said I was sulking.
Huh. Shows what she knows.
Gambit and Bobby wandering around holding hands.

02/3/99
Back in infirmary today. The Professor ran me over in his chair.
He was chasing Magneto up a corridor in it, and I could've sworn he was giggling like a schoolgirl, but as soon as he saw me (a couple of seconds after he'd flattened me with that goddamn chair), he started yelling "Get out, you harbinger of doom, and don't come back!" Magneto just gathered up his cape and jumped out the window. Thought Xavier would be grateful I'd helped him get rid of Magneto, but he just acted really cross and wouldn't even give me a lift to the infirmary.
Had to lie on the floor until Gambit and Bobby suddenly appeared from out of a broom closet and were nice enough to help me.
Incidentally, I can't forget that it's the Professor's birthday tomorrow.
Jean sent me a telepathic message saying she was caught up in something and could I possibly pop down to the shops and get him a present?
When I asked what she thought he wanted she just said she didn't know, why not just get him a toupee and some Regaine?
I'm not too sure about this, but if it's what Jean thinks...

03/3/99
Gave Xavier his present of a toupee today. I told him was ginger to match his chair.
He threw it at me.
Jean got really pissed off too and asked what the hell was I thinking.
What did I do?

04/3/99
Still in Jean's bad books.
I can tell because she didn't float me in the usual bowl of oatmeal and a glass of tomato juice.
Surely a toupee was a better present than what Wolverine got him (a box of paper clips). Didn't see the Professor throwing them at *him* though.
Gambit looked surprised when we told him it was Xavier's birthday and then tried to pass off his half-drunk glass of milk as the present he'd got him.
When everyone looked unimpressed he just shrugged, grabbed Bobby's hand and took off. Kurt just looked miserable and ate half of the box of chocolates he'd got for the Professor before I took them off him.

05/3/99
Slept in spare room across the corridor last night. Awoken early by ungodly noise.
I never knew Wolverine sang in the shower.
In fact, I never knew Wolverine even *had* showers.
Encouraging, as it means Logan is finally beginning to take notice of the personal hygiene message I've been putting in the weekly X-Men newsletter.
Less encouraging, he was singing 'Achy Breaky Heart'.

06/3/99
'Achy Breaky Heart' has given way to selected Barry Manilow.
Someone kill me.
Please.

07/3/99
I'm slowly going mad. Another four am start, awoken by 'Just a Gigolo'.
Been wandering around humming Village People songs all day. Bobby *winked* at me in the line for lunch and nudged Gambit.
This is all Wolverine's fault.
I think Kurt said a bad word at me in German today.

08/3/99
He did!
What's more, that name he's been calling me for the past three months does *not* mean what he said it meant.

09/3/99
Can't sleep. Been drinking coffee all day to try and counteract the effects staying up late with a German to English dictionary and then being woken up early by Logan's horrendous so-called singing.

10/3/99 - just
Still awake.
Logan's begun his daily routine of what sounds like drowning a puppy in the shower for forty minutes.
Why, God, why? Why me? And why Carly Simmons songs???
I swear, if he doesn't stop soon I'm going to barge in there and give him a piece of my mind...

11/3/99

12/3/99

13/3/99

14/3/99
Dear God! It's like a window's been opened and all the light has come streaming in! I always *wondered* what was missing from my relationship with Jean, and now I think I know.
Thank God for flimsy shower curtains and those slippery bathroom tiles I've been bugging Xavier to get rid of for months, is all I can say.
But? how will I tell Jean?

15/3/99
Still puzzling over how to tell Jean (without shattering her heart too much) that I've worked out that what our relationship was lacking was a penis.

16/3/99
Besides mine, I mean.
Phew, made it sound like I didn't have one for a moment there!
Which is *not* the case, let me tell you. No, siree...

17/3/99
Bit the bullet and told Jean about Wolervine and me today.
Thank God, she wasn't too upset.
In fact, she laughed and said she had the exact opposite problem in regard to what was lacking in our relationship.
Whatever could she have meant by that, I wonder...

END